Personally, I have a suspect that when my parents will die I will be shredded beyond recovery... Despite lately I have been doing quite well on my depression.
Well, grief is supposed to last about 6 months, but there can be no rule about it.
We all here are available to listen and care at our best, but you may want to talk about your feelings with somebody who is qualified. It is not going to do any harm.

The best of luck