If you don't have a therapist i suggest you get one. They can help you process you emotions. A lot of emotions come with bipolar and a therapist can help you understand them. Maybe you and your wife can do marriage counseling together. It helped me and my husband. I suggest picking up the Dialectical Behavioral Therapy for Bipolar workbook. It gives helpful tips on how to deal with emotions. I find it helpful.

Also remember you can't change the past, but you can learn from it and move on.