Ok - I have been in many many abusive relationships. If you are bouncing from one abusive or controlling relationship to the next, you may have a co-dependant personality or something similar.

The truth of the matter as far as being trapped - and I know this sucks to hear, I hated hearing it - you are only as trapped as you allow yourself to believe you are. He only has as much control over you as you give him. Fear is a great way people usurp control of other people - but the truth is, you have the choice of what you fear or don't too and what you allow yourself to show fear of.

I know all that sounds crazy - but a person truly has control of their own emotions, fear is an emotion. You control your emotions through choices. Choices on how you choose to view a situation and how you choose to act on that situation. Those choices - in turn cause a reaction to occur inside you which is an emotion.

He will try to cause you to view a situation in only the way he wants you to view it and to act on it in only the way he wants you to act - which will emit the emotion of fear or dread or sadness or some other negative emotion while he is in the "violent stage" of abuse, and happiness, laughter, peace, calmness, or some otger positive emotion while he is in the "honeymoon stage" of abuse - you will notice a controlled blend of the two while in the "warm up stage" of abuse.

The point is - the only time YOU are not in control of your own happiness is when you give up that control to someone else. When you do that, you aren't being fair to you. Why? Because you deserve happiness and only you can find your own way to happiness, nobody else can do it for you. He is abusing you. I am not saying you allowed him to do so - but, you allowed him to take control of your happiness. How? By believing his lies.

Abusers will isolate you and convince you that you have nowhere to go, nobody will help you, no way to get out, they will hurt your kids or animals if you do, etc. They will make sure you have little to no money, no access to a vehicle, etc.

They are good at getting inside your mind - but, you always have a choice: do I fight, or do I give up my rights? Once you choose to believe his lies, you give him control of your happiness - effectively giving up your emotional rights.

Now, you are down to your physical rights - are you ready to give those up too, or are you ready to start fighting again?

If you want to start fighting again - the first thing is to get away from him

Develop an exit plan on how you can safely get out - and then gather some items n clothing that you can easily hide til you are ready to go - grab quick n leave when it is time. Once you are safely away from him - start working on thinking for yourself again, not how anyone else says. Be your own person.

It is not okay for anyone to do the things he is doing to you, but it is up to you to make the choices to cause the change to take place in your life. *hugs*