I had asked to be referd to a psychiatrist at the end of last year.i was told there was a huge waiting list so i guess i am still waiting.Maybe i should change my doctor,but he has been very good in the past,ive been with him for nearly 20 years,but now i just dont believe what he says is right. Right now i dont even know if what i am thinking is right.somedays i feel like everything is fantastic,its like i know what it is like to be totally happy.and withought warning the dark mood comes and my thoughts are haunted by sad things loneliness despair.I an exhausted and need to sleep i think i wil,not had good sleep for days.sleep is a temporary relief so i like it,as long as those dreams of suicide dont comee back.thank for all your support i know ive been aaway and maybe should be here for others its just that it is hard for me.so thanks too all who have helped me in the past,and at least i have got this far.so i guess maybe there is hope.x