How is it even possible to go from feeling like you've discovered some sort of top secret path to happiness that other people can't find, to suddenly later that very same day crying so hard that you feel like your throat is closing up? This feels like a sick joke. Like this is payment for happiness. I was even considering canceling my pdoc appointment, thinking I was "cured" again!

I love roller coasters. But not emotional ones. Not this. I want to get off this ride. I just got done crying in bed for 40 mins after forcing myself outside for some fresh air. I'm trying so hard but it's fighting back full force. Just needed to get this off my chest.