He actually cheated on his first wife because she refused to have sex for over a year. They sought counseling but she would only listen to their Church counselor that couldn't help them. Actually that counselor gave terrible advice.
The hubby did finally have an affair which did end his marriage to his first wife. He later found a new girlfriend, after the divorce. That's when I met his 2nd wife that told me she regretted being with him and wanted to leave him anyway. I never told him about this conversation, even during our affair. But your right, I think bad morals come into play here, along with bad boundaries. He seems pretty open to advice and we try to figure out these things together. I'm always suspicious of my lack of confidence and lack of experience in relationships too. I will search for more information on boundaries, great advice. Thanks so much.