Hello hoping76: I'm sorry for your loss. Yes, sometimes a traumatic experience such as you have had can bring all sorts of emotional difficulties to the fore. Years ago, I had a not-too-serious bout with cancer myself. Up to that point, I had managed to stumble along pretty well on a day-to-day basis. It wasn't pretty. But I was too self-conscious & embarrassed to seek help for my mental health problems. However, my brush with cancer finally kicked the stilts out from under me, so to speak. And I have been slowly going down hill ever since. I hope that you will be able to successfully work through all of the emotions you are feeling. My best wishes to you...