Hello thecolourquestion: I'm an older person now. I lived for decades denying what I knew was going on inside of me. I was too self-conscious & embarrassed to seek help. And in fact, when I was young, there was precious little help available. But these sorts of things have a way of catching with a person over time. And it did me. After stumbling along in life until it was more than half over, I finally began to unravel whether I wanted to or not. I've been slowly unravelling ever since. I send warm thoughts your way with the hope that you will find the strength to learn to accept your demons... with compassion.