He is never that brazen, but likes to invalidate my feelings because of it. But I'm so at the end of my rope.
Hell, I'm trying to deal with my bpd on my own basically, no therapist, AND mitigate his addictions! I'm back to the point that I can't trust him with any more money than I can afford to lose. Which really is none coming up to Xmas and being on welfare. And when you consider that the most I ever get to buy myself is a block of chocolate and a couple of premixed drinks, yet he will polish off a couple of hundred without a second thought. Rrrrr. Not a happy girl. And I just feel emotionally exhausted from dealing with this almost every week. Plus almost being mugged this week. And now having to fight to keep food on the table. Honestly, people wonder why I dissociate. They wonder why I still get the urges to cut. I'm just. So. Tired. Of it all. This is one of those times when I want to be alone and have a good cry tbh.