Are they getting better or are the people that choose to be in relationships with just learning the skills to better cope with them?

I stopped reading about coping with people with borderline and decided I just want out because everything I read said I had to never react to their outbursts, not respond to abusive behavior and constantly reassure them I wasn't abandoning them. Seriously, other than saying not to accept abuse every resource that doesn't say "run away, run away!!!" tells me to act like their personal therapist/parent.

Presently, I firmly believe they do NOT get better. I believe the ones that seem better were never actually clinically bpd or they've found doormats that have drunk the kool aide that all the new bpd for family and friends literature is.

Maybe some people aren't as wild as they used to be, some get sober but "better"? I don't believe it. I do think people can have bpd traits that they get better from and no longer have which is why teens should never get the diagnosis but adults that are diagnosed accurately will not get better. Accept them as is or RUN.

I'll always be confused as to why someone labeled abusive is any different from someone with the bpd. The only difference I've found is that women are predominantly diagnosed bpd. I think their male counterparts are often jailed for assault and domestic violence.