I think these are great considerations and I like this list. I didn't have a lot of experience in dating and less experience in who I was as a person. I think my personhood was largely about taking care of or living up to the expectations of my loved ones. Now as a young teen who is focused on being a people pleaser, this really could have gotten me into some trouble I wasn't ready for. Fortunately however, my boyfriend was a decent guy, and I think my need to please my parents by being a "good girl" overrode trying to please a boyfriend. I don't know I hope I'm talking sense.

At 16 I loved that first boyfriend years before I learned to love myself. I married that boyfriend....and I think often when things come in that order the situation can turn out a lot worse than it did. I finally learned to love myself, value myself for who I am and not just for what and how much I give. I think part of that was simple luck...but also because we were friends first so he valued me as a person even when I couldn't do that. And somehow I knew enough what boundaries I needed to keep as I discovered who I was as a person, before we advanced to successive stages of our relationship.

Married for 11 years now, about 9.5 of those happy! (honest here, and not too bad a ration so far) and with two amazing little kids

Pardon if some of this is rambly and off topic. I think I missed my regular meds today, am on antibiotics, and it's almost four am. Yeah...one of those nights