I'm sorry you haven't got a straight-on, honest explanation of why your former therapist feels that he can't work with you anymore--an in-person explanation. Getting terminated by phone or email really doesn't cut it. That said, I don't think you're going to get the closure you're looking through by sending your own emails. You've only seen your new therapist three times. You can cancel by email or call the office to cancel all future meetings, and you don't have to give a reason--just let her know that you didn't feel any connection and move on.

As for you ex-therapist, you posted that you talked about a trauma and he let you know that he wouldn't be able to work with you on that issue and recommended another therapist. Some therapists really don't feel comfortable treating trauma issues. Personally, I respect a therapist who recognizes their own limitations and refers a client on to another provider. There are too many therapists out there who advertise themselves as qualified to treat every issue under the sun! I get it that you connected with your old therapist and want to continue to work with him, but he's told you pretty clearly that he isn't qualified to treat you any more. He's helped you on your other issues and perhaps, as hard as it is to move on, you might need to look for a new therapist. There's no reason to continue to see the woman who sets off your anxiety with her smelly, untidy office. Leave her, but look for someone else. I hope you are successful in finding someone who meets your needs soon!

I also agree that you need to perhaps look at what's behind your "break-up" comment in regard to termination with your former therapist. Although our relationship with our therapists can feel very close and emotionally intimate, it really isn't a dating or love relationship. I don't like the term termination (sounds too death like LOL) but it also isn't a break-up in the sense of a love relationship, although it can DEFINITELY feel that way for some individuals, and it is intensely painful. Do you think it's possible that your ex-therapist referred you on because of a sense that there was erotic transference? Some therapists feel totally incapable of handling that situation and run the other way. That's unfortunate, but it does happen and it frequently causes a lot of upset, pain and emotional overwhelm due to feelings of abandonment.