Bill...thank you...I just looked that up and this is exactly what describes him.

Everything in his life is set up to create no space for someone else. He works 80 hours a week. His home is unfinished and being remodelled and is permanently unsuitable for visitors. He joined a club that meets every Friday night to play sport and a diferrent club that meets every Saturday night which makes dating really hard. Then he ays he is lonely. The whole time I have known him he says he is lonely but also doesn't date.

I think he really did like me and want to be with me, but when it boiled down to it he was just such a catastrophist. He must have said to me 10 times that he was mentally prepared already for me to meet someone else and was fully expecting it.

When a person is that closed off, it's impossible to reach them, especially if they make themselves unavailable to spend time with you.