What came to mind reading everything here is; how true. I think all of these perpectives are so real. And it's good to hear this from everyone.

Its okay to not feel this or see it right now. It takes soo much time to heal. I love the word "patience". We need to be more patient with ourselves.

When you say looking back and reading what you wrote you can't belive what was on that paper. Its a step forward to write and then look at it later. I think it can help recongize these feelings. I do think you are on your way to doing what's best for Nicole. Journaling is amazing, a good tool to get some of this hurt and pain out. May I ask, "can you show this to your t?" It could be a useful tool. When we are in the "writing mood", its truly amazing what comes tummbling out. Its the things we want to scream out loud, and by writing this, well its such a great start.

You are such a strong person. You have been traumatic experiences, its not fair. But there is a bright future ahead for you. Time is the key here.

You said your t is gone all next week? Can you keep phoning or leave a message that you really need to speak with her. Is there anyone else maybe she could have for you in place while she is gone? Which is not easy to talk to someone that you may not be at ease to discuss all of this. But even to help you get through this next week. Its a suggestion.

We are here for you. We may not have the answers, but support is always here for you.

Okay, I will shut up now; lolol.

Hang in there, and keep in mind, it takes a strong person to be able to talk about these issues. Be proud of yourself, your not running away or hiding from this. GOOD FOR YOU!!!!! Keep fighting.

Justy