Hello

It is almost 5 am and i've been trying to fall asleep since 10pm but my mind is so ****ed at the moment all I am thinking about over and over again how
Ive been so close of taking up my knife tonight like so many times for the past year and cut my self but i dont know why i cant do it , its not that im afraid of the pain my hands have scars all over the place and i havent cut my self since last may and for a month now i realy want to start cuting again and feel this pain that i self inflickt

Bah... I realy was just gona ask for an advise on the sleep and how to calm my self down i had a way to calm my self down when im like this but for about 2 weeks now nothing has worked other than staying awake until im so tired that i could fall asleep at my chair