Do you have a therapist? I mean, I know they aren't miracle workers, but it could help a little bit. Sometimes talking through things can help to pinpoint triggers and help (at least begin to) turn things around.

If you don't have a therapist or anyone to talk to, feel free to shoot me a message (if you can, I think you need a certain number of posts before you can do that, but if you can't and want to talk, let me know and I'll PM you my email). I mean, I'm no therapist, but I do have plenty of experience in being a sympathetic ear.

Anyway, hang in there, friend. We're here for you.