I do know this in my mind, but I don't feel it in my heart, you know?

I think in my formative years I was taught that I was worthless, for the most part. And actually how I was treated (i.e. my "worth" in my little mind) was dependent upon my mother's thoughts and actions, which were incredibly unstable and unpredictable. I never knew from one day to the next how she was going to react to anything--a comment she laughed hysterically at today, she might slap me for tomorrow. So I never really got a sense of "You're alright; what you do and say is acceptable." I have a more concrete sense of who I am now, but I know it's far less concrete than normal. So the foundation is pretty easily shaken.