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Originally Posted by TishaBuv
Thanksgiving day has come. My boys are all here. I am so happy to be sitting here with them, watching the parade and dog show, a bird in the oven.
The kids are happy that Grandma is not coming. Isn't that awful? I feel sorry for my mom. I didn't influence them against her. I even encouraged them to call her, which they didn't. She hasn't even been nice to them. She comes over and gets on their cases about their rooms not being clean.
Hopefully someday I will be a grandmother. I will be what a grandparent is supposed to be; unconditionally loving, a bit spoiling.
I really don't feel like having anything to do with her anymore, but now it has become a whole crisis about how they have run out of money. We are getting worked over to give her financial support. If I don't, I will lose my relationship with my whole entire family. Not that I have much of a relationship with them anyway, just a weird, toxic telephone game that goes round and round.
I've learned on here that a lot of people have written off their toxic families. Good for you all! I have a lot of soul searching to do to see if I should do that or just pay up and shut up.
My mother hasn't been all bad. Actually, she has been mostly good. She is the most clever and funny person I have ever known at times. She has done many loving deeds for me, but deep down she just mostly upsets me, disrespects, disregards.
I still don't know what happened to those cookies she supposedly bought. Yes, she used others to get all this information to me. Her manipulation is incredible. I am probably going to give her exactly what she wants and she is going to get away with treating me like crap.
Peace and joy to those who are hurting and lonely today. May all your birds be moist.
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I'm glad your day managed to not be filled with drama!! You don't have to completely write your family off, just set really really firm boundaries. I have a very good friend who is like family, we have known each other and been close since junior high school. I lent her money one time (actually let her move in with me when she was homeless...) but now she knows that while I will help with listening and things I can do such as helping her move, she will never live with me again and I will never lend her money. If she texts about something financial going on, I say "That sucks, I'm so sorry." But I never offer to give her money. When you WANT to help friends and family members, and have the means to do so, that's great but you are not and should not be obligated to give people money and help if you don't want to. Especially not if you cannot afford it or they don't treat you well.