My in-laws are well over the age of retirement, and are still working. They work to support their 43 year old daughter (half support), 17 year old grandson (full support, he's quit school & been to juvenile detention for drugs), 25 year old granddaughter (full support), and 7 year old great granddaughter (full support). In-laws joke about wanting to move away, but can't seem to ever cut the ties. My in-laws can't get away to visit us, because they are always taking care of the grand/great grandkids. The daughter stays at the same job for years, making a little over minimum wage, and has dropped out of college a gazillion times. She will not apply for a better job or want to "move up." She had her kids out of wedlock, and the father never helped. So, the grandparents raised their grandkids. Then, the girl grandchild had a kid out of wedlock, and the boyfriend has long gone. Now, the granddaughter refuses to apply for a job. It's like she's afraid of applying for a job, and has quit college 3 times. She will only apply where her friend works, and has only one job (where a friend worked).

Needless to say, my in-laws have not been able to save much for their retirement. They just began saying that they now want to run away, and have stated that they now "hate" their moochers. But, they are always handing the moochers money for decades. This money is used for necessities, including smokes of legal and illegal stuff. I can see where one day this will try to get dumped on our laps. My husband and I don't mind looking after my in-laws if they can't live independently, but not the rest of them.

In a way, I can say that my in-laws were helpful to this mess. When their daughter was doing well in college (her last attempt), they started in on "she needs a job because we're out of money." So, she got a job making a little over minimum wage and quit college. My in-laws talk about 'how horrible' work is, vilify the rich or upper class, state that birth control will make you fat or cause cancer, and are very "Debbie Downer"/world is a dangerous place/don't trust people type people. It's always been too much of a problem to get the grandkids involved in sports, or to become involved with homework. They are always saying that that's their daughter's responsibility to deal with the schools, but she doesn't ever do much but Facebook. She does have a new guy she's been dating for a year , and he seems good (has job, not in jail, or on drugs), but the in-laws are not warm to him. The two are talking about marriage, but it seems like the daughter is afraid to disappoint her parents. Could my in-laws be keeping their brood dependent on them on purpose? That seems too crazy. But, my mother in law and her 7 sisters moved thousands of miles from their parents. I think she was afraid of the empty nest. But, now that they are 70, they are now realizing that they can't keep up this pace?

Is there anything I can say or do? Or, do I just watch the train wreck happen?