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Old Nov 01, 2001, 09:40 PM
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CamW CamW is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2001
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 370
Darkeyes - I have no idea how lithium is found in nature. I've never really thought about it before. I am going to make a point of looking it up, though; especially now that you have piqued my curiosity.

I am doing fine. I saw my therapist today and (her and) I think that I am starting to understand this grief thing. Finally I am removing the layers blocked emotions that I have insulated myself in over the past (almost) 40 years. I would guess that the most important thing that I have learned is that I do not have to be a product of my past. That in itself lifted a burden that I had been living with for as long as I can remember.

I have isolated myself within my head for so long, I no longer had a body (if that makes any sense). I thought that by learning all that I could about my chosen field (psychopharmacology) would be all I needed to survive. I thought that I could reach the pinacle of knowledge by doing this. Then, during a session, it came to me. I may have oodles of knowledge, but no real wisdom (ie knowledge isn't wisdom). Wisdom involves feeling and emotion. Wisdom involves other people. A person cannot be wise without others. That is so cool. No wonder I have been chronically depressed. I have stifled (ie. depressed) my emotions for so long, how could my HPA axis (body's stress regulator) work properly.

Now I think that I realize why I have to work so hard at karate. I think too much about it; I should be just doing it. I need to allow my body to feel the moves, to learn them. Knowing the moves and what they do is only an abstraction of reality.

Finally, I may be on the road to "true" recovery. Fairly soon, when I do get a grasp on how this structure below my neck works and feels, I will be able to begin to grieve for my daughter (God, I miss her!). Did you know that true, heartfelt crying really hurts? I found that out today.

Thank you for letting me vent. How are you doing? Do you think that you have made the right decision in opting for the lithium? Your posts sound so much more upbeat than they did a week or two ago. Ya know, there may be hope for us old poops after all. ;^)

Thanks again for listening. I think that I am going to go and remember the good times I shared with Suzanne (my daughter) for awhile. Treat yourself well. I am backing you in your quest for balance. It looks like we are headed in the same direction.

Peace and Kindness - Cam