Trippen thanks for the sharing the story about your friend and sorry to hear how negatively his relationship impacted you. Did your relationship heal over time? Most of my friends live out of state, and due to depression, I sometimes go for long periods of time without keeping touch whether I'm in a relationship or not. The way you tell the story of your friend, it does sound unhealthy.

However I'm trying. I registered for a 1/2 marathon that is next summer I will need to train for even though I have stopped running since I met him. I had just gotten going with it though (like two weeks in) so it was easy to let it fall to the wayside. I'm still getting A's in the classes I'm taking (I don't know how) but I'm totally not putting in the effort I could. I did get a C in one of my classes after I met him and I know I could have done better in that one (like an A) had I not been dating him and giving him all the attention I did. But it was a choice I made and I wanted to spend time with him. I should have done better in that class though.

The thing is, I do struggle with depression so finding motivation is so hard anyways. I have a very co-dependent mother, and growing up my family was fairly dysfunctional with enmeshment issues among other things. I don't want to be like my mom. I need to be stronger. I wish it were easy.

Thanks for your replies and encouragement to find balance. It's true, when things happen (cheating, death, leaving), you need to fall back on the things and people that make you who your are. I really should have learned this lesson by now, after all, when the previous therapist left me, I was devastated and tried to kill myself. Change is so hard, I know I need to be different and do things differently. Prayers for strength or thoughts of encouragement would be appreciated.