I do this a lot. When I try to "talk through" the anxiety or bad thoughts caused by ruminating on whatever the situation, memory, etc., my husband has made the note that he feels like I can't let go of the past and tells me I need to let them go. (I don't disagree with him, but of course, it's never that easy...).

I try to utilize mindfulness techniques, or do things to keep my mind off of them as much as possible. Even if it's just a few moments of deep breathing where I acknowledge the thought/emotion and try to release it to focus on the present moment. If it's not something I can derail I try to do something constructive at the first available moment to do so (art, music) to "work through" it.

"it's a process, not an event" I've found a valuable lessen. It's not like flipping a switch, unfortunately. It could be worth exploring cognitive behavioral therapy, or working with a professional to work through your experiences. I've found that this really helped with abusive situations, particularly, as well as other experiences.