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It breaks my heart to hear you've had to suffer so horrifically. I can't imagine how hard it must be to deal with this. I hope that you have/find someone to talk to about this and work through it. Wishing you the best, and many hugs.
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Do at least one thing you enjoy each day. 
Dx: BPD, OCD, GAD, and PTSD traits
Rx: Lamictal 200mg and 0.5mg Ativan as needed
"Now I can see all the colors that you see."
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