I guess i see things in terms of knowing. I definitely lack emotional regulation too. I remember telling a boss once that i dont keep a promise because my mother never kept a promise. So i dont KNOW what keeping a promise means. And i will get emotionally disregulated when asked to keep a promise. I AM a loyal worker; just dont ask me to PROMISE to be one. That will set me off, that hint of distrust. Aha! Dont tell me you cant trust ME, when you know very well the problem is that i cant trust YOU - that is, the other person - mother, boss, professor.

That works for me. I can see where i acted out my distrust and got fired many times. I wish i could live my life backwards.