I agree with what's been said. HE ruined HIS life. It's unfortunate for his family that he chose to do that. There is no clean, perfect way to get through the process. Do the best you can and spend time with loving supportive people.

It's natural to feel guilt. I did as well. Part of the reason for blaming ourselves is because it helps the world to continue to make sense. It's sometimes less painful to blame ourselves rather than to face the fact that the world isn't fair and that people can be cruel for no reason. That we can be abused simply because we're in proximity to an abusive person. We want to believe that we have control over whether we're abused or not, and will even blame ourselves for the abuse in order to maintain that illusion.

Think about knee-jerk reactions people tend to have when they hear of a woman being abused in some way. Many want to believe she was partly at fault because the alternative is horrific. Horrific to realize that it could literally happen to anyone for no reason at all. They want to think that she deserved it in some way so that they can tell themselves that it would never happen otherwise. That only people who deserve to be abused are abused so that they can tell themselves they are safe from it.

And it's very, very, very likely that he had prior victims before you. If he wasn't caught he'd also have victims after you. You are likely to be saving someone else from a lot of pain by bringing his actions to light.

Some may side with him. Abusers generally don't look like monsters and people don't want to believe they are just like everyone else. Abusers can also do nice things in the community, yet hurt others behind closed doors. Doing good deeds doesn't make the abuse ok.

Try not to worry about any siding with him. You need only your own love of yourself. Love and support from anyone else is just a nice bonus.