You are not alone. I have suffered from depression just about all my life. I also found out today I am ADD. There have been times in my life I just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up. My faith is the only thing that kept me going. I was in what I call my "black hole" and felt hopeless, that I had nothing to live for. I have tried twice to get of my meds and it's not pretty. I have learned to realize that I need the meds and will have to take them for the rest of my life. I have 2 children, a five year old and three year old. I had to get better for my kids. I didn't want my kids to suffer because of me. I feel stupid most of the time too. I can never express myself, nothing ever comes out right. I am hoping the rx I start next week will change this. So I do have hope, that's what keeps me going. I'm sure you have wonderful traits that you can't see yourself. I always feel guilty that I don't do enough or don't measure up. Everyone else thinks I'm a saint, and very talented, and I think I don't deserve it. Maybe I'll be able to see myself in a new light and get a little confidence. I would like to describe myself the way others do. You hang in there, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Things WILL get better you just have to have believe that. I'm not a religious nut, I just know God won't put you in a situation you can't handle. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. Things happen for a reason no matter how bad they are. I had a pretty awful childhood. That really helps me to appreciate all I have now. Hope this helps!