Quote:
Originally Posted by bookgirl14
Technically my fiance's parents aren't my in-laws yet but I refer to them as my in-laws. Last summer I moved in with my fiance to an apartment to end the long distance part of our relationship. We've been in the apartment 4 months and my in-laws have the thought in their heads that we need to buy a house now, that renting is evil.
We had this conversation when I moved and I feel that I'm not ready for a house yet because at that point my depression and anxiety hadn't really stabilized and my worry is that if I have an episode, the house will fall to pieces. An apartment is less space to take care of and no maintenance needed. When it was brought up this time, I considered it but then I saw what they want us to buy.
The problem is that my in-laws are in love with house trailers, very cheap old house trailers. My immediate thought is that in a tornado or heavy wind, the trailer will be gone, and just the thought of that possibly happening just ratchets up my anxiety. I brought that up and I was told that can't happen in trailers but it can to actual houses. Also that we'll pretty much lose our investment in several years.
I keep saying no over and over but my in-laws keep pushing and pushing because it's supposedly "cheaper" to buy a trailer than stay in an apartment. Thanksgiving and every other time I see them, it's talk about trying to convince to buy the trailer. They want to get a mortgage for us and have some payment plan with them, which is bothering me even more. They even came over Friday and had a talk with my fiance about convincing me to get this trailer when no one has even looked inside it.
I have stuck by no and have kept saying it but they will not listen! And I don't know how to get my fiance to them to back off. I probably sound spoiled but I do not want to live in a trailer, I lived with my in-laws in one for a month before we got the apartment, and I do not want to repeat that experience. And at this point, what bothers me most is that my in-laws are not listening to me! They just keep pushing and have even gone so far to figure out how to get the loan. 
I can't handle this anymore. The stress is effecting my anxiety. If anyone has read this far, thank you for letting me vent! |
I agree with what everyone else has said. You feeling uncomfortable with making such a big step is reason enough for it to not happen - it should be more than enough reason for your fiance to put a stop to it. His parents have awful boundaries, but that doesn't mean you have to let them walk all over you. Just keep saying "I don't want to discuss this" over and over, they call that the "broken record technique." Shut them down every single time. The key to setting boundaries is consistent reinforcement.
I want to mention something no one else has, that is that you are right a trailer is a bad investment. Real estate in general isn't a great investment but trailers are not great at all. With a home in a decent area if real estate holds up, you could probably break even or make a profit if you stay in a house 8-10 years. It's doubtful that would be the case with a trailer. Yes, paying a mortgage is cheaper than paying rent, however when your hot water heater breaks down in an apartment you call the landlord. When your hot water heater breaks down in something you own, you pay the repair man out of pocket and maybe then pay it replace it because it's shot...It can be very expensive. So you need savings for unforseen things or you'll end up just running to the in-laws. If they control where you live/the money you need, they control you.
I've also never heard of trailers not blowing away in tornados but houses being less safe. Tornados aren't safe in general but trailers aren't the ideal choice for riding one out.