It's okay to be gay. It's okay to watch and enjoy porn. It's okay to masturbate. As long as you're not letting it get in the way of important daily activities and taking over your life then it's fine, don't feel ashamed of it. I'm not sure about your job situation- are you saying that you can't get a job because you're too focused on sex to even apply for jobs, or do you just feel shame about your attractions?