I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I was suicidal at a young age too and no one was ever aware of my issues. It's really a really hard to talk about. I know for me I must have practiced feeling my therapist (in my head) a million times. All it takes is one moment of bravery. One moment of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to tell someone you trust. while it is difficult it will only be beneficial for you in the long run! Hang in there and feel free to pm me