from one lonely person to another, I totally get it. I don't think you are stupid, I think that we would go to great lengths to not feel so alone. Sometimes we can get a little impulsive about it and do things that we regret later. While I tend to ruminate over things I feel I've done wrong, I try to tell myself "you live and you learn". Take this as a learning experience and maybe next time try to think it through and act in a way to preserve your parents trust, your job, and your own emotions. Don't be too hard on yourself!