Hello angelagal544: Somehow, I find it hard to believe that this all started with your husband after he learned of your encounter. This sounds to me like something that has been going on way longer than that & your encounter is just the rationalization that was available after he got busted. But, that's just an opinion. Obviously I don't really know. Perhaps I'm way off base.

I've written this previously in response to a couple of Threads here on PC. I used to know a guy who would often say: "If you want to know which way the bullet is going, look down the barrel of the gun." I can imagine how scary all of this must be to you. But, if you re-read what you have written, I think you'll see where this is all headed.

I don't really have any advice for you other than to suggest the obvious which would be that you may want to find a therapist with whom you can talk through this most difficult situation (assuming you don't already have one.) I wish you all the best with this most difficult situation.