what happened to her when she was younger?

did she have an ambivalent upbringing?

The only way out of this is to bring stuff into her awareness, when she has calmed down, talk to her, tell her how she was with you and how she made you feel, be honest with her, but you can't rescue her, she has to do this for herself.

Problem is, she might not be ready to rescue herself just yet, but that's not your problem, it's her journey, it's her lesson, and she will find a way one day to rescue herself, if you do it for her, you're not helping her in the long run, it will just make her dependent on people.