Hi everyone, hope you are all well.
I really really need some words of advice/encouragement. I know what I'm about to say is really stupid but it's really getting me down. First of all, when I got married, my husband lied to me about previous partners, said he was a virgin when he wasn't. I think it was more the lie more than anything that hurt me, because it was a little into the marriage when I found out. I'm still not over it. I am happy with him and we have an 18 month old boy, it's just this lie I'm having trouble forgetting/accepting.
Anyway, since then I've got into a silly habit of looking at the girl's facebook (she's married aswell) and I've just seen that she is about to have a baby and it's horrible of me but it's just made me feel sad again. Because of the lie, I've just developed strong feelings of dislike towards her even though I don't know her...stupid right? Maybe because I'm having a crappy time with the inlaws and have been from the start that I feel resentment and envy of her. Sometimes I think if she did stay with my husband she could have dealt with all the crap from the inlaws and had a restrictive life like I do. I don't see friends much because it's hard to do anything I want with the inlaws so I don't see anyone much. I guess I compare myself to her and she seems to have her own life which she enjoys whereas I'm just stuck here living with my inlaws and looking after my son. I think it feels like I don't want her to have anything that makes her happy. Honestly I do realise that there isn't any logic in my thinking but that is what I'm feeling. I know I also need to stop looking up her life on Facebook because it's just getting me down. Has anyone else been like this? I just wish I could find it in myself to be confident, happy and accept his lie. I feel stupid for feeling like this, but I can't help it.