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I understand. Once while hyper religious, I believed if I masturbated, I would be condemned. I believed it was a test from Satan. I writhed in misery. Another time I masturbated literally 10 times in 1 day. I rarely take it out on my husband as I feel embarrassed about it but I also do not cheat on him. When I am manic, my sexuality is off the charts. Otherwise, it is minimal.
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Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now
Tori Amos ~ Crucify
Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
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