I have no recollection of passing days, even hours sometimes. My mind has been busy doing god knows what. I come here often to see how everybody's doing, I didn't remember some of the posts that I put thanks on. I actually came here to find my own, and I didn't post any on the first of December. I was here though, trying hard not to post what was on my mind, I just needed to check to see how many days I'd been up. 2 and half at most, I gave up on the idea of breaking my own record last night, thanks to the friend's words in my head, I'd made a responsible choice there. I have been monitoring myself very carefully, comparing the current state of mind to the ones in the past, as well as eliminating bunch of possible causes and I have to say, sleep hygiene is a little overrated for me personally. I have a few more possible theories in mind and it'll take some time to prove/disprove or they will just remain as are. I was thinking of my parents a bit tonight, it's safe to say the genetic cause is still out. Emotional trauma. Possible, anything is. Though would it come alive years later after a stable carefree period? Other possibility is that my own thinking pattern got derailed, put myself in a maze so to speak, but it sounds a little too far-fetched, isn't it? By eliminating unhelpful things and ideas, even emotions, I have helped myself grown. It is not serious enough to call it a health issues for me right now, I have never experienced this prolonged period of mental state in which things are back to normal, naturally alone, and stress-free, yet, everyday it is like my subconscious is taking over half the brain all day, is that why I find myself breathing harder than I normally would many times a day? What is the sleep to me if I don't stop thinking laying in bed asleep?

Am I in slipstream of my subconscious during the day? Is it time to take a leap forward in time? That just sounds like me alright. All things considered, I'm just doing fine.

(Natural life has been quiet lately in my area 'cos it's winter and I am part of it. Even with my eyes closed,,,,,funny, it doesn't work!(it never works..) Let me rephrase here. With my eyes open, I can imagine the colored leaf carpeting the ground which I see on the way to work, I can also picture starry night sky which I look up while I'm on a bit dazed and dangerous bike ride home. )

“All those who love Nature she loves in return, and will richly reward, not perhaps with the good things, as they are commonly called, but with the best things of this world-not with money and titles, horses and carriages, but with bright and happy thoughts, contentment and peace of mind.”
― John Lubbock