I agree Ruari,

Being yourself is the best policy. If you're kind to people you can't go far wrong. From your post you have some likeable qualities. My husband is INTJ too, he often comes over as a good listener and many people in uk appreciate that. He also likes to spend a lot of time alone as being sociable drains his energy.
He does, however, because of his personality brood on small interactions and can conclude that he failed socially when other people don't think that he has.
Society puts value on people putting themselves and their views forward, but some outgoing people can be brash and irritating. Many people want someone who will listen (or seem to listen) while they spill their guts and share their opinions, without having to listen too much themselves.

He is more likely to have one or two friends and not hang out with so many acquaintances, and he is a loveable person.

I do hope you find someone who can appreciate you. Ignore my ramblings if they don't ring true, but above all be yourself.

You are valued here.