So, my family has this frail old dog, "Sparky". She can barely see or hear anymore, doesn't have any teeth left, has failing bladder/sphincter control, and recently (last 2-3 months) her hips have gone so she can hardly stand up or walk/run.

What she CAN do, however, is cause huge amounts of stress for my family-- in particular, my already-over-worked mother. Sparky needs specially prepared meals because she can't eat regular dog food, has frequent accidents, and what's worse is that she's constantly whining and barking. Her bark is very loud, shrill and ear-splitting. Used to be that she would only bark during the day for a specific reason (because she's hungry or needs to go out) but lately she's started barking at random, sometimes even at night.

And when she barks, my mother drops whatever she's doing to tend to her-- and not for love of Sparky but to "keep the peace" because Sparky's barking gets on everyone's nerves and often provokes my dad's hot temper. There are times where my mother will skip dinner to sit with Sparky to keep her quiet, and she loses sleep tending to the dog at all hours of the night as if she were a baby. A few nights ago I saw her dragging Sparky across the yard on a rug because the poor old girl refused to get up, and my mom has a bit of a bad back so I'm sure this aggrevated her aches. She's talked about getting the materials to build some sort of sling for moving Sparky, which is a horrible idea. My dad has wrist problems so he can't really lift anything, and my brother and I aren't home often enough to move the dog every time she needs to go inside or out, so that would just mean more work for my mother.

Now, even if Sparky didn't cause such a strain on my mother's well being, I'd still say that it's time to euthanize her because she's clearly suffering. But here's the thing: when I suggest (gently) that we should take the poor dog to the Vet's to be put to sleep, my mother accuses me of being cruel! She insists that Sparky is still responsive and "enjoying life," and that it's not a big deal for her to take care of Sparky. But I see the toll that it's taking on my mom's mental health, even if she claims otherwise, and I know that Sparky's death would take a huge weight off her shoulders. I love the dog, but her continuing existence has a very unhealthy control over my mom, and a lot of family arguments break out over what to do about her (generally mom v. one of us suggesting euthanasia). Even if Sparky weren't suffering, I'd still want to get rid of her at this point. It's not right for an animal to do this to my mom or my family.

Anyway, I don't know what to do. As I've said, when I broach the subject, my mom becomes highly defensive. She also says that since I'm not home half the time, it's not really even my problem. But even with her health as poor as it is now, I think Sparky has at least another year in her (she has plenty of energy still left for barking, after all), and I just don't want to see my mother straining over this dog any longer.