Nothing but a rant

Okay so the pain clinic wont increase my Lyrica because I have a history of self harm ( cutting) its been over 3 years They said talk to you GP ,( he is the one actually prescribing me the Lyrica)

So I go see my GP and he said he can't do anything because I'm being seen at the pain clinic and he cant make any changes . Also he was trying to set up something at the hospital ( with my pdoc and T's urging ) that if my pain spiked to the point I was feeling suicidal I could go there and get some kind of pain med .. I am sick of my pain causing me to become suicidal and then I just have to go IP .. You all know what happens when you go to the ER because of Fibro pain and your Bipolar .. Bam!!!!! You are looked at sideways and there is no help to be found . Welll...... He said that is not possible the hospital yacked on about liability and bullshyt..

So ... If my pain spikes and it goes on for days and I cant stand it and wanna find a bridge , my only option is going IP to be safe and yeah,,, they dont address my pain or do anything about it ..

I am really really sad and disappointed that once again I feel backed in a corner and no one will address the pain... again .. I have an IV infusion of Lidocaine set for Tuesday.. My husband wants me to go ... Yes it did drop my pain , but it hasnt lasted long enough.. I still haven't gotten a bill for that yet,.. I am sure I won't beable to continue them , even if they help due to the cost..

Would be cheaper for me to die to be honest( no I am not suicidal) just saying.

Sorry for being a whining ranter ... I am just fed up !


***** Cake !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**** Hun put down the mop , ***** doing laundry. Shame on your family for treating you like this , You were just left???? Wtf ???? No No No No No. Hell No! Please Please be kind to yourself, Its time for you to just stop ,, stop doing anything for anyone , Its total bullshyt ! Right now.. your family sucks and they don't deserve you, at all !!! Stop Stop Stop... Take care of you and only you. Please do this for yourself .. they can all piss off . Be good to YOURSELF !