Hedgeleaf, you have my sympathies. Yes, office work with a jerk is difficult. Have you looked at this woman with pity? If you pity her for the inability to be a better person it will take away the upset she give to you. It is not about you, it is about her. She has no people skills and that is obvious. You cannot be personable with someone who is not so. Just treat her the way she treats you, and hang with the guys. You will survive this just fine. Then if it bothers her she will come talk to you. Then you can point out she has no people skills and that is why everyone treats her the way they do. Most offices no longer want people to be kind and caring. They discourage that. They want a team to work like a robot for straight set of hours and then leave. That is the way the world is headed. I hated my last job, i worked for the government. I hated it so much i said i would rather be dead than go into work one more day. Then i knew something was terribly wrong. I was very ill and did not know it. Now i am on medical disability. The jobs stress added to my debilitation. You have to not let the job eat you up and effect you to that point. Do what you have to for yourself to ignore her lack of personality and just go in and do the job. Hope that helps. tc