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Originally Posted by LaDauphine
I've always had a hard time getting and keeping a job. My anxiety, depression, OCD and inability to cope with high levels of stress (in comparison to a "normal" person, anyway) have crippled me in this area. I also used to work in the sex industry so I got a little too used to doing as I pleased, making my own rules, etc.
Recently, I've realized that I'm not just cut out for full time or stressful work. Surprisingly, it's been a huge load off my mind accepting the fact that I'll be making minimum wage forever! I'm kind of at peace with it.
I work in the Food Service industry at a small office cafe. Not glamourous, but I do feel proud of myself for lasting!
What do you do?
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A few weeks ago, I was making a six-figure salary, but then I was fired for a fight I was in while on business travel - absolutely triggered by mania. (Still, I have to own this, as mental illness is not an excuse for bad behavior).
I'm convinced that I'll never hold a regular job again, and am very scared right now. Bipolar has taken everything from me, or more realistically, I've taken everything from myself.
My driving record is lousy, based on the manic purchase of a BMW about a year ago. I've gotten multiple tickets and I backed into an Audi, all just in the last year. I can't even get a job delivering pizza. Hell, even that would be something.
I'm so desperate right now, but I have made promises to the people I love (and who love me) that I won't do anything drastic. I have to stay alive, no matter what. People need me in this life.