I don't know. What bothers me most about what you've said here isn't actually the group T. Because the group T is just doing his thing and being a therapist. (Which is what therapists tend to do.)

But your personal therapist apparently has to give permission for you to interact with your group T one on one (weird) and she's telling you that you're not 'allowed' to quit without performing X action first.

Maybe you like that, and maybe that's even what you need. I don't know.

It does sound like your therapist is acting like a surrogate decision making machine though, and I think that's really dangerous. If you tell your T you don't want to keep going to group therapy, she's supposed to help you explore your feelings around that and come to a decision. She's not supposed to tell you that you can only do so if you meet a certain requirement.

Sounds like you're being lured into another hyper dependent situation. And what happens when this therapist inevitably has a human moment and fails you? (She definitely will, because humans are fallible, and can't help that.)

What happens if/when you suddenly need to make decisions about group therapy, interactions with other professionals, etc, on your own?

It might feel good to be told what to do and how to do it, but is that truly the point of therapy?

I think a therapist who annoys one and challenges one is better than one who does your thinking for you. It wouldn't surprise me at all if your group T actually pushes you to grow more by essentially requiring you to meet him at his level as an independent, strong thinker, rather than someone who has to be coddled re: minimized feelings.

I don't know. There's a lot of fine lines and context etc, missing here, so I could be wildly off-base. But I actually think your group T was really clear. He told you to come back and keep challenging him and yourself, and that the choice to come back or not was yours to make.

Whereas your T is relieving you of the burden of choice, and in doing so, I believe, absolving you of some adult responsibility.