Hi sister,
I'm sorry your last session before T's vacation was such a tough one. It sounds like he didn't go out of his way to make the parting easy or reassuring. I'm sorry you retreated into confusion/dissociation. It is understandable to get confused with so much stress during the session hammering at you.

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Plus he was wearing sandals yesterday.

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I can't remember, is wearing sandals good or bad?

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When I arrived T said that since it was the last for a while and we had started together a year ago, that it might be a good time to review the year and talk about goals for the coming year.

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I think it can be really valuable to review the year. I would like to do that with my T sometime. Our first anniversary is coming up in October. I think it can be empowering to look back, see where you were then and where you are now, what is going well and what is not, how the direction has shifted as time has passed, etc. However, I don't think the last session before a 3 week break is a good time to discuss this. Too much tension and anxiety about the impending separation. You want to be able to really feel good about that conversation, and that would be hard with the separation looming. It would detract from what could be a positive experience. Does that make sense?

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Maybe I should have told him my Weight Watchers goal.

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In a way, that would have told him a lot about what you thought about his desire to discuss goals at this stressful time. It reminds me a little of this article I read yesterday in the college issue of Newsweek. They interviewed an admissions director about what colleges look for in applicants. He told about one student's application, where the big essay question was as follows: "Ask yourself a question and give the answer." The student wrote: "Do you play the tuba? Answer: No."

((((sister))))