Hi Justice,
Got back, then comp crashed again. Now got it sorted again.

But, I had stalled our conversation because I got caught up in fear. I guess this is the internet, so if one cant experiment with being honest here then where??

But I'm back now, and we can continue talking.
If you like I can tell you what was creating the fear reaction in me, but should that maybe be by a pm?

My time away was very interesting. It was with family, and I handled it better than I have ever before I think. At least I was able to be more truthful with others, not vulnerable, so much as truthful, I challenged my cousinn on what he used to call my family, I let him know |I didnt want to hear him say it, - he used to call us mad. What he missed was sensitivity to that it was a tragedy of the disfunction that was going on in my family.

I dont find it easy to be with family, but I feel now that I have some recovery in my behaviour. But in myself I feel weak, specially at nights I feel out of myself, bad dreams, like I am so empty inside, like I have lost everything that I once had inside.

How are you??

riverx