I think my thoughts are unreal
I feel my feelings are unreal
I dont know whether they are real or not and whether i am real or not.
Its like i need others to tell me what is real and what is not.
Is this being detached from.... Reality? Me? My feelings? My thoughts? The world?

MY world is so full of stuff yet i see in real world they are almost nothing.
So am i living in a separate horror-fantasy world?
i feel so full yet so empty
So crowded yet so alone
I have plans... They should lead to peace and i'm afraid they'll only lead to hell... But i have to follow them... If i dont, then who am i? What do i do? Am i still real? Me?

PS. Flashes (unwanted images) of killing myself and others (that then become fantasies) that scare but also make me feel real and needing them to show me the way, and make me feel i have some sorta of CONTROL on reality, are they a REAL danger to me and others? Is it all just in my mind? How do i know how much my flashes and then fantasies will have grip on me and become real? Am i dangerous? Crazy?