I have done things during a hypo manic episode I cannot forgive myself for. It destroyed my marriage. I have tried to make amends and when I think I have made headway he lets me know what a horrible person I am and how I will never change. I feel my forgiveness is tied up in him whether it is us getting back together or something. I don't know. Since his latest outburst of name calling after telling me he loves me and forgives I am devastated. The guilt is killing me. It is keeping me from moving forward. I am beginning to lose hope in all this. Has anyone ever been through this and how did you forgive yourself?