So I recently made a post thinking I was stupid about going to visit a girl I met online. After five days and a lot of nice responses, I don't feel stupid, but I learned and that is not something I will do again. As recap (for people who did not see that post), I spent $300 to go meet a girl I met online only about one week prior. We had a good time. The next day things turned out not so great as she seemed to get gun shy or cold shouldered after meeting me just once. So this post somewhat a continuation of that story.

I have a hard time with strong emotions (then again...that is just a Bipolar thing I guess). I met someone I like and immediateily I'm like OMG must talk to them a lot, must be with them a lot, must do what they want me to do often, etc.

Come to think of it, I don't regret meeting her, but it could have happened in a better way that maybe didn't involve $300, risking my job, and my parents trust. But I'm 22. And my parents tend to treat me like a kid only because I cannot afford to move out of their house or pay 100% of my bills on my own yet. They got mad I tried to stay in a hotel with the girl and risked missing work which maybe could have got me fired. The girl was VERY stressed about that saying I'm kid-like and my parents have too much control over me. She didn't like that one bit that they were interfering with my decisions (though eventually understood I could not risk my job).

I am a person who usually likes to have physical contact with people. I want to randomly hug my friends or family. I might even like to randomly touch their clothes if it looks soft of shiny. At times, I even like to playfully tap/punch/or poke them. And if their hair is cool I usually get a great desire to touch it. All these behaviors came out when I met this girl and it turned out she didn't appreciate them. I don't think she minded me hugging her, but she didn't like me poking her for certain (which nbd...I stopped that and respected it). And the reason I messed with her hair so much (which I did not tell her) is cause I love it. It's super fun to play with and touch. Touching it was my way to appreciate it. I'm not sure she understood that. A couple times I tackled her playfully which I also think she did not like. That's my way of kind of saying "hey, I like you, let's be silly together and spend time together." These are all "I like you" and "spend time with me" behaviors. But she just sees them as playful and annoying. She thinks they make me childish. Again though, I didn't really explain why I do these things. Maybe I should?

I think at this point we're both VERY confused. She's said I'm annoying and selfish. Then apologized for it without much explaining and offered to have a mature conversation about things. I didn't want that. It was too much drama for the past few days so I told her I'd talk with her in a week or two. The problem is she last said she wants to have it over text which seems like a TERRIBLE idea to me. Things get so miscontrued through text.

So now I don't know. If she still wants to talk to me about what is bothering her and everything...is it wrong of me to think she is actually still interested in me? I'm bad when I don't know things. But wouldn't this be logical? Why would she want to spend the time and have a conversation if she wasn't interested in repairing a relationship or giving me a chance somehow you know?

So I'm taking this week or two to think. Problem is not quite sure what to be thinking about? Maybe why I'm annoying/childish/or selfish and how to explain or appologize for that? Maybe what she thinks it could be in the future (or if she just wants to not talk about it and just continue talking)? I have been given and am taken all this time, but it's like I'm not sure what to do with it and when it comes time to talk to her again I just don't want to make her upset or angry again. We almost said we were never going to talk again. Whole thing was really immature and emotional which is why I hope after a week or two we'll both be more cool headed and rational.

Help? Opinions? Similar situations?