Gosh, I am not sure. Well, 2 years ago we started going to therapy because we knew she needed help but she doesn't listen to any adult advice. We've tried doing 'regular' parenting stuff like telling her in advance what the consequences of her actions will be, but she always acts the victim, and if he behaves badly and we do something in turn like take away her phone, she twists it around as if we are evil and are persecuting her. I have stopped nagging her about stuff I used to Now I pick and choose my battles. She tells me she is unhappy in this house, even though I have ramped my responses to her down. She also goes way off the rails if the answer to anything is no, or even if we compromise and she gets something of what she wants. Nothing I have tried seems to help chage her behavior or make her more stable, and in fact the last few weeks she has been worse than ever. She lies, manipulates, she obsessively texts her boyfriend. (Not like a regular teen) She has always had difficulty making friends and obsesses over one person. She has no girlfriends. Not one.
Sorry, that went off track to your question.
Basically I have tried backing off her, she used to push my buttons until I argued with her and now I don't allow her to reel me in. She has been like this for years too, way, way before she was 16. I look back now and I see things as far back as when she was 6 that weren't 'conventional' behaviors. I now believe she's had childhood BP, unknown to us.
I don't know what else to do. I've taken to treating her almost like a roommate and just leaving her to her devices because I cannot parent her like a normal parent would. I'm really at a complete loss.