I have a great respect for the idea of public service, but think politicians, in general, fall short in practice. I have a similar opinion of psychiatry and psychiatrists. I'm sure there are great therapists and psychiatrists out there, but I don't feel that I've run into any. What proceeded me entering therapy and seeing a psychiatrist this last time was a referral from my primary care physician who became concerned by my growing depression.

Not that it matters much, as the solution is more or less the same for depression whether it is symptomatic or not, but I was suffering from symptomatic depression. After eighteen months of being too weak to work and support my family, I was diagnosed with a rare, incurable and relatively untreatable auto-immune disease. My nervous system and muscular systems suffered the most and the chronic pain, along with severe sleep apnea eventually prevented me from sleeping.


Right now I am typing with one hand because I had surgery Friday on my other to repair a complete tear of the rotary cuff and bicep. The other arm is scheduled to be repaired in six months, after this one has healed. Then my elbows. Then my ankle. And they can't give me pain meds. Did I mention that we've lost everything financially? It was enough to make a guy depressed.


So I've been referred and have been going now for about a year. I have applied for Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) three years ago and am still awaiting a hearing date after two denials. M attorney suggests continuing with therapy because, though I should absolutely get SSDI without a psych component, she likes having a backup plan. Fair enough.

I was diagnosed with a severe depressive episode immediately and more recently, schizotypal personality disorder. The latter is beyond ludicrous. I have gone into why I feel it is ludicrous in the schizotypal personality subforum already, and as I am typing with one hand I'll forgo repeating it here – sufficed to say that my religious beliefs and ancestry should not lead to a diagnosis.


Finding a new psych team is not possible. I am extraordinarily rural and options are limited. In fact, I travel over one hundred miles round trip to see the one I go to now – and that is via skype! I would like to know how to make the most out of the team I have when I feel as if I am not being listened to and most everything is being taken out of context.

Incidentally, here's my history with psychiatrists/therapists:
First doc; first diagnosis: BPD. (1979)
Second doc; second diagnosis: Antisocial PD, rejected BPD diagnosis. (1982)
Third doc; third diagnosis: healthiest patient she had, rejected both previous dx's. (1992)
Fourth doc; fourth diagnosis: major depression, schizotypal PD. (2015)

No one has ever diagnosed PTSD or c-PTSD despite an abusive childhood with severe physical, emotional and sexual abuse and serving in six combat zones.


To answer the inevitable question: yes, I've shared my history honestly. I just feel like this is such a monumental waste of time and resources. I would like to have something positive come out of this time but could use some suggestions. Thank you.