I agree with following through with consequences. You have to show her that you mean what you say or it is pointless. Consistency is key to modifying behavior. If children dont believe you will stay consistent they will continue to push boundaries. Have you tried positively reinforcing the behaviors you want her to display and I mean heaping it on to start and slowly lessening it over time. If she wants to be able to call the shots and have freedom then show her what she has to do to earn it and reward handsomely when she does.