Don't make promises when you are in the middle of messing up everyone's lives. Sorry but bipolar isn't an excuse for hurting your wife or getting an OW involved in a problem marriage. If you have VALUES they exist no matter what.

Problem in a marriage....NEVER get an OW involved before you have resolved what you truly want to do with the marriage. End it or save it but focus on IT, not someone else because it only fogs up the clarity of the relationship you are needing to resolve one way or the other.....only after the divorce is final is it ok to allow another woman into your life.

Does your wife even know about the OW? She is entitled to know because shenhasba right to figure that in on whether she wants to keep the marriage. It's not only your decision to make at this point since you got an OW involved in your life.

It's also not that you CAN'T end the relationship with her it's that you won't. If she knew you were still married & got involved with you, getting hurt by your promise not to hurt her is her problem if she knew what she was getting into....comes with the territory.

If she thought you were already divorced....then you are a lire & you have more serious issues to deal with. Sorry, having bipolar isnt an excuse for lying either. If I were your wife, I would want to know all the facts so I could make a very logical choice as to weather I wanted a divorce or not. When you cheated on your wife....you gave up the privilege of being the one to determine what happens with the marriage & even more since you are UNWILLING to stop seeing the OW. You are doing nothing to show that you want to save your marriage like you said you want. You need to get your act together.

Problem marriages usually have 2 sides to the problem....we can't see the real picture of the relationship....but that NEVER is an excuse to have an OW involved no matter what!!!!